i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
