so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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