I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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