WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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