Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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