sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
