So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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