You're completely useless in the revolution.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
