i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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