Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
