hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
