i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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