What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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