No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you will always have a special place in my vag
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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