You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
