i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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