He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
