Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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