oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So much rum. So many feels.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
