I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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