Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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