But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
where does the pee come out of this thing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
