a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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