billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
