soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
