I CAN MOONWALK!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
