I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize