Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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