She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
do herpes really smell.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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