great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
