I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
