singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
