Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
