i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
