i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize