your parents love me but you hate me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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