You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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