I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
