I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
