i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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