In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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