If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
