I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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