For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
