i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
