guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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