And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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