You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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