I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
