My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize