I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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