you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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