Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
