just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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