if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
