You made me cry and you don't even care
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
